If There Was A Box

If there was a box to put all your negative thoughts in, it would be so wonderful. I wish negative thoughts were tangible. Positive thoughts on the other hand should be like air, encompassing and free and feel like warm hugs. But negative thoughts should have been like tangible objects, surveilled and then disposed off. Today I realized how much anger and negativity I have in me and how important it is for me to convert it into something positive or get rid of those feelings.
How does one do that? Take away all the rationalised anger and negativity and make oneself anew? Is it not difficult? At 2 in the library, I am trying to change myself, to become a better person. Perhaps, it could be done by  thinking about the negativity causing thoughts and their roots. The next step could be to decide whether these thoughts are worthy of your time anyway. If yes, then we move on to the next step. But if not, then we assume that those thoughts are like a one-time poop and get rid of them. Moving on, if one cannot get rid of those thoughts so easily, one should maybe think about whether their presence will make me happier in any way. If not, then again we repeat the poop excercise. If yes, then we modify ourselves accordingly. All this brain muddle is taking place in the brain and not outside. What you believe is more important, if you are not a narcissistic idiot. Haha!

People in a majorly social work institute are disappointing me. But then again, who cares? 

Proton!

Hello!

I am writing here after a long . I am living in Mumbai now, doing my MA in Media and Culture Studies. Too much work, sleep deprived and lonely, life is not that great right now. Hehe!

But I want to change this attitude of mine that has been persistant for a long time now. I have become too negative. Imma change to extreme positive. The nauseating kind. Haha! Too much work, will be done, awesomely well, I may add!

My life always was awesome. It is now and will always be.

Sometimes we reach that straining point, where we are stretched so thin that it becomes hard to get by. In my life, I am at that stage. At least, on my college and studies and stuff. I don't want to give up. I want to enjoy but stuff keeps happening that to me it seems like an indication that this world is not for me. I want to believe that it is a rough patch and that my disinterest is just a phase, but it has been going on for so long that I feel like giving up.

But I will not give up until my heart tells me. Which is forever. Imma fight this. 

One of the triumphs of civilization..

This line ('One of the Triumphs of Civilizations..') occurs in 'Mrs Dalloway' directly after a suicide of a traumatized war victim, ironically by the intrusion of a psychologist. This line has stuck with me...

One of the triumphs of civilizations

Has been to invade everyone’s lives.

One of the triumphs of civilization

Has been Bhopal and Hiroshima.

One of the triumphs of civilization,

Has been sophisticated oppression.

One of the triumphs of civilization

Has been to guarantee

That death comes to all.

But at a time like today,

One of the triumphs of civilization

Has been worldwide prayers.

One of the triumphs of civilization

Have been candlelight marches and vigils.

One of the triumphs of civilizations

Has been relief and concern.

One of the triumphs of civilization

Has been love transcending borders.

The world is a bad place,

And death will come to all.

Yet,

There is still love left.

And that has been the

Triumph of the civilization.