Still, Frame

'I know I always think and write..'
*GO DIDO!*

My attempts, my feeble attempts to write a story have not borne any fruit as of now. Not even an orange! PS: I <3 Oranges. Anyway, I want to write so bad! Without any interruptions and worries. After exams? Maybe. I'll start writing at night and go on till the morning. My hostel room is quaint too. Sadly, I can't find my Jhumpa. JHUMPA! I miss you. Maybe, thats why I am not able to write. I want to read this particular story about this guy who loved this girl. But it gets better than that, duh. The reason I want to read it is cuz the guy was doing his PhD in Literature. HAHA! I know, its weird that I don't remember the story but I remember that!

I will write. I will write insanely. That is my resolution for the year 2011.

I WILL WRITE AGAIN.

Finally getting closure

Well. Ahem.
I'm done.
And I hate it when I am done. Cuz after that, I am completely clueless. I am lost. Bah!

I don't know of anyone else who has let go of people who love her tremendously so easily as I do. I can count Bhavika(my best friend of four years), Vineet(after a friendship of 8 years), Zain(after four years. Four amazing years), Nidhi(after the things we had been through, its amazing how we are apart), NIKITA(my baby).
It feels like closure. Finally.

But do I miss them? Yes. I miss the times we had together. I don't think anyone can have as much fun with people as I've had with them. I told you, these are the people who I let go. I don't know of people who wanted to get rid of me. But yes, these are the people with whom, love just eventually went away. So did friendship. All from my side.
Do I regret it? No. Cuz now I've come to realize that things don't last forever. And its best to let go than hold on for no reason. Yes, friendship, as deep as ours, then, is not a reason enough. Sadly. These friendships had a time period I guess. There are no messy fights. Just a realization that its time to make an exit.
I guess, now I am on the cross roads of the same thing. And I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can go back to the same thing.

But I never stopped caring.

Do I honestly care??
Yes! Sigh! Sad but true.

I weally weally wish that I didn't though. But it is human and young adult combined, I have to.

I wish I could write again. Without being so hesitant. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Darn! I am Texan.
Oh! So! Random!

Couplet! My Heroic Couplet will save the world!

Note to self:

Get a life. Seriously. I am writing it here and not my journal because I have stopped paying attention to what I write in my journal. Sigh! I am writing it here also cuz, well, this is my part-rant blog.
Anyway, I am soo paranoid, its not funny. Bah! Maybe I should do yoga and relax. I have forgotten to enjoy myself alone! I mean, I used to crave alone time before but now, when I am getting it, I don't care. Bah! I am starting again. Yay!

Can't think of a Title

Somewhere, one day, far away, I will look back at this day, and think.
Somewhere, one day, far away, I will, like always, look ahead and think.
Somewhere, one day, far away, I will, like today, wonder why I don't live in the present.
Somewhere, one day, far away, I will, remember the day I learnt how to.
Here, today, now, I know, today is that day.

Panic Attack!

OMG OMG OMG OMG!

For cryin' out loud I am a LITERATURE STUDENT! WHY CANNOT I COME UP WITH STUFF FOR THE COLLEGE MAG!

OMG OMG OMG!

Photo Exhibit I

I went on a holiday this past week and here are some pictures I clicked..

Random I

I like stuff which has history. I like to go back in time. I day dream about the Bamiyaan. I will never forgive the Taliban for it. I want to go to Morocco and Gaza. And roam around Delhi with no tourists around. At night. And then write about it.

I am sorry Mr. Awesome

Sometimes, I feel like I am the MOST retarted person in the world! Seriously. And the way I treat Mr. Awesome, I feel worse. I mean, you cannot find a more perfect-er boyfriend. He is soo sweet and nice and calm and loving and caring and adorable and pretty and everything. Touch wood. But I am so insecure that I make it hell for him. Sigh.
I am very insecure. Very. Its sad. But I will promise myself that I won't be. If I can't trust him, I cannot trust anyone. :/ Haina?
Sometimes, its good to be insecure and possesive. But once it goes over the limit, you are just driving the other person up the wall. Sigh. I am not going to torture Mr. Awesome again.

I heart you.

My first RANT! Yay!

Gilmore Girls! I love love love that show! You know, the problem with me is that I am VERY indecisive! Bery Bery! I mean, like today, I was thinking whether I even need this space. I already write in my journal. is there a need to spread the weirdness when the world already is brimming with it? I didn't mean to write that. Bah! I need to assert myself more. Especially in front of people who think who can get away with putting me down. See, I don't write stuff like this in my diary. Why! Why is life soo confusing? I mean, EVERYTHING in this world is. I love Mister Awesome. I do. I know there is nothing like it. Sigh! touch wood. I am writing and erasing stuff all the time now! Why! Its soo annoying! Oh. BTW, I still don't know where I stand with some people. Hahah :( Dear God, give me brains to identify people. I am erasing stuff again. I don't get it. Why do people have to be so secretive? I mean, get a life! You know, if you share what you are doing in your assignment, it might get you lessar marks but it will make you a bigger person.
But I guess it's not in fashion to be all-giving now. It's cool if you're a kiss ass and a bitch and self-centered and mean. And its totally awesome if you do well then!
Well, no matter how much my parents, including my little sister, tell me that I am a push over, I refuse to change. I agree I am not perfect, but ATLEAST I can respect some of the aspects of my personality. I have an issue with my confidence. But I am working on it by listening to Girl Empowering songs and wearing t's that have really cool, I-AM-ALL-GIRL messages on them ;)

PS: It's time I stopped erasing what I write. It's time I started answering back, properly (and not just getting defensive).

Yay! My first Picture Post!

This is my hostel room the first I set it up. The camera is so blah. I wish I could capture the way it looked. Cuz it looked PRETTY! And clean and stuff. And I don't know the best way to put it, but this is my FIRST 'alone' room. It's yet to become home-y sorts.

This is my notebook and pen and stuff. I love writing. And I love using coloured pens. I like doodling. But not to the extent of loving it. I'd rather write a pseudo-intellectual-part-blah poem than draw people's faces. Cuz...1. I SUCK at drawing.

2. I suck at it so much I had to mention it twice!

This is College. Well, a part of it. I promised myself I will take random snapshots of it and here's one on a monday morning. Its after the rains. College is soooooo gorgeous, especially in winters and rains. Sigh! PS: I know it's not evident from the picture. I did mention I am not brilliant with photos.

Don't Blab It

It's been a while now that I've been toying with the idea of random, dont-tell-anyone-about-this, kinda blog. Yes, I will have to make some changes in my blogger profile but what the heck! I need this. Also, my humour, my beautiful humour needs an outlet. And my extremely amateur photography with my extremely cheap phone camera also needs a passing audience. And well, I am not very good at telling people what I think about them. Hence, I need to rant too.

Cheers!